burning the midnight oil?

i know i should be sleeping by now
i reminded myself twice to sleep before 1am.. and then changed to 1.30am
but it's already 1.36am right now
i should perhaps be preparing for my interview tomorrow (or today) at least if not sleeping
but after a few failed attempts to do some research on the net.. here i am.. :)


my honeymoon was awesome.. 
krabi was the rightest choice of destination
1) the flight merely took 1.15 hours so less time wasted on the plane
2) aonang is a muslim city in krabi so halal food is sooo very the easy to find
3) currency is more or less similar to malaysia so we were able to keep within the budget
4 days are definitely not enough.. 


we were only able to go for a 4-islands trip
my digicam was not being good to us as it went kaput when we were arriving at the 3rd island
so we had to rely on my husband 2mp hand phone camera 
and the weather was not either
we were approaching the 4th island when the rain started to fall down
imagine what comes with heavy rain if you are surrounded by i-don't-know-how-metres-deep water
a rough sea.. yes..
we were in the middle of the andaman sea when it was raining cats and dogs
not being able to even float myself apetah lagi swimming and the fact that we were riding on a long tail boat definitely not helping
i just couldn't stop praying that if Allah were to take my life that day, i was seriously hoping that my life would not end in a boat full of half-naked mat and minah salleh.. huhu
and Alhamdulillah, despite being hit a few times by a very strong wave we managed to reach the shore safely
so, our plan to go on another island-hopping trip the following day was cancelled
if that is what we have to go through once again, i would rather miss the beautiful white-sands beaches than risking my precious life.. :)


we are planning to go to ha long bay, vietnam for our next trip
but i don't know when it will be materialized
since i am not working at the moment so money is a bit of a problem
wish i could secure myself a good job soon
and by a good job i mean a lecturing job
i have no heart to be an engineer anymore, seriously
i failed a few interviews with good companies because i was not able to convince them why i want to be an engineer and when asked.. do you mind working long hours?
because i do mind actually
i want to have a baby soon and i want to lead a normal life
i want to be a good mother to my kids 
and spending more time at the office will not help
not that i am saying being a lecturer is an easy job
of course it is not.. especially when it comes to the researches
but at least the working hour is more flexible
and that's why i am really hoping i can nail the interview tomorrow because it is for a lecturer post
and that's why i need to stop writing now because i need to sleep and i need to be fresh tomorrow
so, good night people!

krabi rawkssss!

i have safely landed in krabi at 2pm local time today.. :)
been here for less than 12 hours yet i have fallen in love with almost everything..
perfect beaches.. perfect massage.. perfect tomyam? yet to taste.. hehe
looking forward for our island-hopping tomorrow.. yay!
will be back with more stories and photos once i got back..

oh btw, my sis-in-law gave birth to a healthy baby girl, nur ai'syah last monday
my brother is now a father and that makes me an aunt!
hehehe.. she is superrrrrr duperrrrrrr cute and i am missing her like crazy already! huhu..

a new journey?

i am opening up my own business soon, insyaAllah

not that big, just a small online business as a start

discussion has been done and mom has already agreed

yes, my mom is my business partner

so, people.. please support me.. :)

thank you..

update (updated)

i have been on hiatus for a few weeks already

was online but merely to check my emails

been kinda busy with final exams

three weeks in a row and it will be over this coming sunday

yay! and come 15th December (i think) marks my last semester as a masters student, insyaAllah

can't wait for all these sufferings i.e. fully-occupied-weekends, exams, assignments, crazy group mates, tests, presentation, etc. to end

but then, perhaps welcoming myself into a more torturing life of a PhD student

anyway, talking about the doctorate degree

i am most probably continuing in a local university only

husband is not really into the idea of going "back" to the UK

he does not want to leave his family for another 3 years or so

but i am totally indifferent about it

of course, it is on the other side of the world but mother is going to tag along if we are going there

and abang is definitely ok i think, because he'll be flying to France starting next year or so i heard

so, on my side, it is totally ok

but being married, of course u have to consider both parties right

decisions are made based on mutual agreement

so, australia is next on the list

but PhD in electrical engineering in Australia?

rarely heard of it

therefore, might as well continuing it here if that's the best for everyone.. :)

really, don't bother that much

as long as husband agrees on bringing me to the UK at least once.. hehehe

anyway, insyaAllah we will be going for our honeymoon soon

but, the destination is still not confirmed yet

thought of going to Bangkok but we'll be going there for a family trip next year

Hong Kong but the cost of living is too high; hotel, travelling, food, etc. or so they say

Bali not that interesting to ME plus with the earthquakes and bombing, surely banyak objections from mother and in-laws

lia suggested going to cambodia.. haha.. gile tk romantic.. scary ade..

aihhh.. any ideas people?

of course, it's limited to airasia (not airasiaX) destinations only

my weight loss progress seems stagnant 
even if it does not, the difference is nothing to be impressed with
i survived on 2 pieces of wholegrain in the morning and in the evening
but the loss is merely 1 kg per week
i eat like a quarter plate of nasi and nuggets and chicken meatballs yet i still loss only 1 kg weekly
so, i am not putting any kinda hope anymore
my body is perhaps already immuned to the drinks
so, be it swallowing everything down my esophagus or not, it is always 1kg per week
but of course, i am thankful enough to be back to my pre-wedding weight
even though the progress is slow, but it is still ther
it is just that, it may take yearssss before i can reach 50kg.. aihhhhh!

btw, we are going to krabi for our honeymoon!!
yayyyyyyyyyyyyy!

a lesson well learnt

i was back in my hometown last weekend

my aunt and uncle will be performing haji this year so they organized a small kenduri

i arrived early even though the kenduri was only held after asar prayer

to help with the cooking and what not la konon nye

but ended up gossiping and chit-chatting with the aunties and cousins.. hehe

anyway, that is not the climax of the story.. :D

so, with the cooking of course there will be the eating part kn

i was so determined not to eat at the beginning

i managed not to for brunch

eventhough they served one of my favourite kuih i.e samosa or temosa.. i don't know.. it's the karipap lookalik but with ikan instead of potatoes

at that time, i preferred to settle for buah langsat instead

and then come lunch

ikan goreng, sayur lemak, SAMBAL and PUCUK UBI REBUS

it's been long since i last ate any truly kampung dishes

so the temptation was super hard to resist

i tried not to be anywhere near the serving table

but there i go, i obviously failed miserably

so i had a plate of pucuk ubi rebus and super spicy sambal and IKAN GORENG

i just didn't bother to count the calories i had consumed

and it did not just stop there

later, i treated myself with a few "pinches" of ayam goreng kfc

AND also, 3 ketuls of ayam masak lemak
AND 5 spoons of bubur kacang hijau with durian
AND seketul samosa

*mari bertepuk tangan*

and yesterday morning, my mother cooked a super delicious nasi goreng daging salai

and i happily ate half a pinggan.. yadaa2..

and for lunch, i ate another quarter pinggan of rice with sotong kunyit and sayur campur and masak lemak cili api ayam salai..

so, that was what happened during the weekend!

and i was so proud with myself for consuming an enormous amount of calories..

and today, the college is organizing a "gema raya"

i just don't bother to go down

because i have learnt my lesson the hard way

no matter how you try to forbid yourself not to eat

but with food, delicious food.. right in front of your eyes..

just 2-pembaris-panjang away from your mouth and 1-pembaris-pendek away from your hands konfem la fail punye.. wa cakap lu.. jusmate tu will be like thousand-miles-away from your thought

hehe..

so, moral of the stories..

kalau iman tu tk kuat, jangan la cuba untuk menggoda diri atau biar kn diri di goda

that goes not only to food, but other things in life as well, right? or right? :)

weight scale

my husband was on mc yesterday
he wasn't until he went to the clinic in front of his office 5 minutes before he should clock-in
so, instead of going straight home
i dragged him to giant because i desperately needed to weigh myself
lagipun, i needed to restock our mineral water
so, off to giant we were


sampai2 je, we went straight ahead looking for weight scale
true they said, when you are in need of something, you will never find it
so, pusing2 finally we found one next to a jewellery store
being so eager, i quickly dropped the coin inside the slot
and wahlaaaa.. the numbers on the screen really2 surprised me.. 
i lost THREE kgs.. and that was within 4 days only..
i was so happy i couldn't stop smiling
and then, dengan super happy nye
we went to do our grocery shopping in the giant
seriously i was really amazed with myself.. hahahaha..
everytime i picked on something
the first thing that i would look was the "total calories"
hahaha.. imagine okkay..
i checked every types of tuna they have on the rack
and trust me people ayam brand chunks tuna in water has the lowest calories
i.e. only 44kcal per serving
so, if u eat it with one piece of wholegrain fibremeal which is 63kcal
you will only consume 107kcal.. 
and 2 pieces per morning is more than enough to keep you full until lunch


so, after doing the shopping, tibe2 saket perut.. nature calls
i rushed to toilet and i told husband i wanted to weigh myself again
hahaha.. bajet konon akan turun lagi la berat kn..
but u know whaaaatt?
i gained another 2 kgs instead...!!
so now, whether the weight scale tu yang rosak
or i am myself in a big trouble..
anyway, i asked my husband to weigh himself
and taraaaa.. 2kgs extra than his original weight
so, i concluded that the weight scale was indeed rosak
and i chose the first reading.. yay!


and now, i am truly happy with the result
i hope i can reach my target by 2 months! 
weeeeeeee.. :D

surprise

i was ym-ing with my brother
when he told me that our mother wanted to buy me a JUS MATE 5!
u see..!!!
my mother has never ever in my life bought such products for me
or even encouraged me to buy one
but this time around she herself wanted to get it for me
must have been because i am wayy too FAT in her eyes (even in anyone else's eyes also)
huhuhu..
but then, my brother spoilt the good news by telling mother that i have already bought it
alar.. kalau tk dh ade sponsor.. hehehe

but i am still very surprised to hear that..
hehehe.. funny2..
poor mother.. she must have been worried seeing me gaining so much weight
she must be afraid her only daughter might turn into a giant monster in no time.. lol..


anyway, my diet is going ok so far
i salute dr.rozmey despite his bad taste in hair style (sorry doktor!hehe)
but he has really invented such a good product
*keep up the good work*
and another good news is
beside losing weight, the drink also works as "ubat subur"..
if you search on the internet, there will be an article saying that if you are planning to get pregnant, drink jus mate, it helps but of course once you know you are pregnant, you have to stop taking it.. because dieting is not good for the baby right..

so i do really hope i can kill two birds with one stone
eventhough, i am looking forward to having this drink for another two months
but i am still hoping i can get pregnant as soon as possible

btw, i haven't weighed myself yet
it has been four days and honestly, i do feel a little different
i can fit into my baju kurung moden better
but lets not put too much hope first
afraid that the result won't turn out as what i expected it to be
but, i will do just fine with 2 or 3 kgs.. lol

yellow pages

my aunty called me the other day asking for a favor
her daughter will be doing her internship in shah alam, very near to my place before
so, she called to ask whether i can help to find a place for my cousin to stay
and Alhamdulillah, i have already found a room for her to rent

and this morning, my cousin smsed me 
her friends, who will also be doing internship at the same company as hers need a place to stay
if possible, somewhere near the office which is apparently near to my cousin's soon-to-be place lah kan
and Alhamdullilah, again, i managed to get them a nice apartment 


and a few hours ago, i got an sms from a friend of mine
asking for my suggestion on restaurants to celebrate her bf's birthday well, i suggested a few places based on my very little knowledge on restaurants and hope she likes it 
(but babe, i have a few more ideas for a romantic dinner if you don't agree with the ones i gave you earlier.. :))


and not to mention calls or sms asking for direction before.. hehe..
talk about being a human version of yellow pages? weeeeeee.. :D

well, lets just say that i enjoy myself doing things like that
i may not be able to offer my help to the earthquake victims, be a volunteer for mercy or anything but, 
i am just glad that i can still offer my help to my friends and those people in need, even if it means very little to them

baby

the photo was taken by atie/shaxu on the day we visited lin's new-born baby, aqif
i put up the photo as my display image on yahoo messenger
and boy, the photo has surely caught many people's attention
especially those whom i have lost contacted with for so long.. :)

anyway, back to baby aqif
all this while i have this kinda fear towards new-born baby
i never hold them in my hands if i know they are like 2 or 3 months old
i just can't for i am afraid i would break them
they just look so fragile
but, not with baby aqif
a motherly conscience really kicked in the moment i hold him
perhaps because it's a sign from God that i am ready to become a mummy
hehe..


but, seriously i am prepared to be one
in fact, i can't wait to have one
it's just that our time has not come yet :)
i really envy those young mothers with baby
i don't know why
they do look cool, kan?

like they said on E!
baby is the new accessories in Hollywood

another day 1

hehehe..
i lost 1.5 kg last week
itu pn kalau weight scale tu tk menipu la.. lol

and yesterday, finally..
setelah berfikir super panjang
i decided to get myself that jusmate 5
huhu
itu pn after my sister in law's colleague has successfully lost 14kgs within 2 weeks! :D
at first, i was reluctant jugak
because i've tried herbalife before and it didn't work at all
i lost 0 kgs but gained 2 kgs instead.. :(
plus, i've not seen real life nye result
i mean, i have heard of people taking herbalife and turun ber puluh2 kg
but none actually happened to my close friends or relatives

so, this time around..
i am really2 positive to try
and hopefully i can lose some kgs at least,
i am aiming for 23kgs.. in a few months of course
i am not sure whether i will succeed or not
but let's just try
alang2 wa tk mkn pape ni kn..
hehehe..

oh, btw, to ensure the effectiveness of this jus mate 5
one has to consume not more than 1000 kcal per day
and yes, starting from today i'll be counting my kcal intake :)

| Day 2 |

ok, so i cheated yesterday
tipu sunat
hehehe
i was browsing through the cabbage soup recipe
and it was.. err.. pretty menyusahkn
the cooking itself takes 2 hours
and i need to go to giant to get all the ingredients
by the time i reach home it's already 8
and by the time i finish cooking it's already 10
so, setelah ditimbang2 dan difikir2
i settled for wholegrain fibremeal and a low fat tuna in water instead
hehehehehe

and today i had the same menu for breakfast
2 pieces of roti and tuna
and one bottle of mineral water up to now

ok fine, i did cheat again just now
we had another jamuan raya today
so i ate 2 small pieces of ayam masak merah
but i successfully resisted the temptation of eating the nasi tomato!
so, congratulations to myself
yeehaaa..

looking forward for another daysss to come

| Day 1 |

i am doing okkay so far
in fact, i did some running in the rain just now
and glad to be arrived safely in my room without passing out
hehehe

anyway, i have had 3 pears since morning
and i ran outta it now
wonder how will i survive until evening without any fruits
but i still have a bottle of mineral water
only manage to finish half until now
so i guess, i will just make do of what i have now
u know, as they say, if you are hungry, drink water
it helps to make you kenyang, kot..
but Alhamdulillah, i don't feel stressed or anything
at least, until now

i think it is all about your mind, right
ok, i know i am not in the position to say anything right now
given that it is my very FIRST day but then i guess
it is true.. it is all about our mind..
this morning, i had two of my colleagues eating nasi lemak in front of me
the smell of it.. malas nk cakap la sedap nye kn..
but then i tried to divert my attention
rather than imagining how delicious and mouth-watering the food is
and it worked! yes, it worked!
i forgot about the nasi lemak and the temptation
so, whenever u feel hungry, just think of something else
easy breezy right.. hahahahah..
kononnnn!

i have another 9 hours before i go to sleep tonight
and tomorrow is day-2
no fruits at all but only vegetables
yay! i love veggies..

...too heavy

right after i wrote the previous entry
i feel a sudden urge to lose weight
i calculated my BMI and i am already overweight
yes, u heard me right
not moderately overweight but OVERWEIGHT!
i am supposed to lose freaking 13 - 15 kgs to get my ideal weight again!!!!!
seriously, i almost cry okkay..!!!
i am too heavy.. and too fat
i can hardly fit my jeans anymore
even to wear my baju kurung is a struggle nowadays
can it be worse?
damnnnn ittt.. okkay.. seriously dammmnnn it..

from what i've read..
one of the tips to lose weigh is to go public
to announce to your friends and family that you want to go on a diet
so, here i am..
sangat2 determined to lose weight
not for outer beauty only tp for my health
i think, with my current diet,
in no time, i can have a diabetes or high cholesterol kot..
or perhaps, i already have tp tk tau (god forbids!)
because i get tired easily lately.. huwaaaa..

anyway, anyway, back to my plan..

so, tomorrow will be my day-1 of my 7-days
i will only drink water and eat fruits ONLY
yes, ONLY..
and i will blog about it.. even if i cheat..
so, insyaAllah that will motivate me..

my diet will be a 7-days diet
and then from day 8 onwards
i will switch to healthy diet
i.e. to stay away from rice but eat fruits and only white meat

please2 help me..
please2 support me.. :(

ti-yus-dei

i passed my project presentation with flying kah-lerss
at least, that was what i told myself the moment it was over.. hehe
but anyway, it only contributes 30% to the whole mark
another 70% will come from the report
which seems to be the hardest part
since i can only focus and write in peace when i am at home.. hmmm..

***
anyway, last weekend, i bumped into an old friend of mine in the elevator
among all of my friends back in Uniten
this person is definitely the last person on earth i thought i would meet in Utm
doing master some more.. hahaha
but it was of course great seeing him again
but the not so great part is.. he's wayyyy slimmer to be the old him..
yes, hidir is now way slimmer, okkay
and when i asked him "wassup beb.. cmne bleh kurus ni.. mcm tk caye je"
he replied.. "ape lak.. kau la sumber inspirasi aku kt uniten dulu.."
boleh tk..??????????????
that wasn't the first time someone told me the same thing okkay
isn't it embarassing when someone look up to u in something
only at the end of the day they did much better than u

ahhh..
if only i can turn back time
if only i can lose 12kgs in 2 weeks
if only i can have my 51-kg weight again
if only i can wear size s again..

god,
i seriously need to lose weight!
as in, pronto!
i have been gaining an extra 4 kgs after the wedding
i thought the husband should be gaining more
ini tidak adil.. huhuhu..

ayat-ayat cinta

there is this beautiful young girl whose mother is a Filipino and father a Siamese.
she was born in Madinah
and at 11, her parent sent her back to Pattani
now, age 16, she's schooling at a religious school in Kelantan
she wears jubah and sometimes, a purdah showing only her beautiful eyes
when she took off her selendang,
i was amazed with her super long shiny black hair
she's beautiful.. an epitome of a true wanita islam

and there is this boy from Ampang whom i only know through stories from others
he is 22 and her mother is from belanda
a tahfiz (or izzit hafiz?) with the whole Quran in his heart
(sejuk perut ibu dia mengandung)
and next week, he will be flying off to Africa to learn hadith

i don't know, but these 2 young people remind me of Aisha and Fahri.. :)
oh, forgot to tell
the girl's aunty who is also the boy's ibu angkat is very "excited" in getting them "together"
i smiled when I heard the conversation
i thot ayat-ayat cinta is merely a movie
but no, it does happen in reality
(but i hope in "this" story, the third person does not exist)

of growing up..

1. i cannot deny the fact that i was very unhappy when one of my close friends could not attend my wedding reception (both). i accepted her excuse but since she will be tying the knots as well, therefore i told myself not to come to hers since she did not come to mine. what you give you get back right? and not only that, i also ignored her calls. pretending that i was too busy with my life when the truth is i am not really. but then, a few days before hari raya, i did not know why, all of sudden i realized that i had made a big mistake. i am 26 and i should be acting like one right? jeopardizing our 13 years of friendship just because of one stupid event is very highschool-ish. i was driving when the thought occur and i promised myself as soon as i got home i would sms her. i forgot. the thought remained a thought. a day after, out of nowhere, she called me. and now we are back to where we begin. :). selamat pengantin baru (in advance), ruhaizah.

2. i was beyond upset when she accused me of something i did not do. i did not hate her but i swore to myself not to have any sort of connections with her. but then, after a few years, i braved myself to forget what she did. after all, the feud is going nowhere. so, i smsed her, a very simple sms, to be precised, it is merely a wedding invitation. and now we are good again. not that i am that close to her, but at least, we are on a good term now.

3. we were the closest of friends back in high school, or so i believed. we were too, back in university. i thought we would be the bestest of friends for life. but things happened anyway. i was young, so was she. i got mad over something stupid and so was she. a little argument grew to become what is seems like the third world war. even a world war has an ending. but ours, has not. the damage was permanent. i did make an effort before but i guess she was not convinced enough. so, as i mentioned. the damage was permanent. the friendship was broken into millions of tiny pieces and there is no way on earth to fix it.


anyway, for all the mistakes that i have done, i am glad i made it for through each of it, i learn the true meaning of life.

di hari raya..

after 2 weeks, now we got another photos of ours
thank god, it's worth waiting for

anyway, happy eid mubarak people
sorry body & soul
hope you have a great raya
drive safe but eat a lot!
you'll regret it if you don't eat those food served during raye
sbb nnt dh tk raya, mknn tu sme dh tk sesedap mase raye
it's ok, u can always jog after tu.. hehehe

i love =)

i have to say that i am a bit frustrated with most of the photos from the outdoor photo shoot
all the gambars just don't turn out like i want
but nevertheless, there are some that i do love especially the above :)
thanks dude! (you know who u are)

..

happy 090909 :)

biggest mistake

i have just realized that through out my 26 years of living, i've wasted at least 3 biggest opportunities in my life. at the moment it happened, i never thot i was wrong, i was so happy i made the decision, but as i go along, and look back, i have to admit that i'm regretting every single moment of it.

1. for not furthering my studies in UTP.

2. for rejecting the scholarship from MALAKOFF. one of the highest paid organization in power industry. yes, i was among the only 4 students in the whole uniten to be offered the scholarship and i DECLINED! the HR called me twice to confirm and i was so firm with my decision at that time. stupid eh?! if i just accepted the offer, i am pretty sure that by now, i can drive one of my dream car.. :(

3. for rejecting the PTD offer. everyone wants it so badly, some even go for the exam several times. but me? i only took the exam ONE time, i passed the assessment ONE time, only the interview, i had to go two times.. but still, i got accepted.. but being very stupid i DECLINED! why? because i thot i was sOoo good.. i thot i have sacrificed so much to get my engineering degree and to end up working in admin environment is so not worth it.. that was what i think at thaaaaat very moment.. and now i regret it.. what's wrong with working in admin when the pay is good, right.. what is wrong with working in any area not-related to your degree? the only thing that is wrong is ME.. yes, it's ME..

i keep making wrong decisions and regretting each one if it.. i think that is why Allah took back my rezeki.. because He gave me so much and i never took it.. so He took back all i have in order to give me a lesson.. :(

how do i redeem myself back..?

positive! yes, positive!

i am feeling rather positive today
no, i am not pregnant, yet
the test gave me a negative result last night
yes, i was impatient, very in fact, that was why i cheated
i tested a day before my period is due
but it is written on the box that i can test at least 3 days earlier
so, i think the result was valid
i am not pregnant
so, perhaps i will be getting my period either today or tomorrow

back to the story
why am i being very positive today?
no, not because my project report is done
i am still stuck with the simulation
and still have no idea where i am heading to

and definitely not because my assignment is done
i still have 7 questions to solve
and still have 2 chapters to revise before my test this Sunday
so, what makes me very positive today?
hehe..

it is the cars! the cars that i saw at the staff parking lot today
funny eh?
but seriously, seeing those cars somehow rises up my spirit
one is a blue convertible compressor (izzit?!) that belongs to a very2 young DR
another one is a blue audi that belongs to a 34-years old Associate Professor
another one is a gold civic that belongs to a very young, very pretty, very2 intelligent lecturer
another one is a silver mazda RX* (i forgot the model) that belongs to a very young DR as well

realize something?
the emphasize on the luxury cars AND the title?
i don't really bother about the luxury car actually (tho i have been talking about cars! demm)
but i do bother about the TITLE!
yes i am freaking jealous to see people getting a PhD at a very young age!
how on earth they do it?
getting a PhD before the age of 30 and yet still enjoying their life?
that is what i call a perfect life.. very2 perfecto!

and here i am, full with spirits but in the midst of writing a blog
instead of completing my work and assignment!
lalalala..
anyway, i am 26 and will be finishing my masters next year, at the age of 27
so i STILL have time like 3 years before i turn 30
hence, i still have time to make my dream comes true
i.e. to get a PhD by the age of 30
or if i cannot get it in 3 years time
i hope i will be on my way, at least
so, yes.. now i have a reason to live
now i have a reason to wake up every morning

i will be getting my PhD before i turn 30
i will, and i WILL
if those people can do it, why CAN'T i, right?!
i have the brain.. i know it.. i am not showing off
but i know i have the brain
i know if i set my mind to do something, i will do it
i am just lack of motivation and lately i keep losing focus
that is why..
so now, i have the motivation and am trying hard to focus
so, please pray for me people..
please pray hard for me..
thank you..

p/s: congrats AIDELIA SHAUKI for officially becoming an ACCA affiliate today (after yearsssss of trying! hehe..)

...

1. i am at the lowest-est point of my life. assignments, test, project report are undoubtedly the biggest contributors to the situation. I was staring at the assignment questions with an empty mind, the questions were very difficult, it takes at least 3 pages and hours to solve merely one question and there will be 4 questions to be answered during the one-hour test next week, and that was when it hit me hard. why do i have to go through all this shits? why do i have to suffer the pain and yet still get nothing in return? why do some people never have to do all those things yet still enjoy the luxury of life? why am i not like those people? why do i have to learn everything the hard way? i know, there is always a light at the end of every tunnel. but what if my tunnel is too long and i do not have time to reach the end?

2. my period is due this Wednesday. husband already bought a pregnancy test kit for me and i can't wait to try. period, please don't come. i want to get pregnant. i want to have a reason to be happy. i want to have a reason to wake up every morning.

3. i got an email from *** regarding my job application. please, please give me the job. i need it badly. i need it since forever. it has always been my dream since the first day i started my degree. so, please ya Allah, let me have the job.

update

i am moving slowly through life these past few days

i ditched work yesterday because i found no point in coming

when the only thing i will do after failing the dynamic simulation after several times of trying is facebook-ing

and thanx to an old friend of mine, miya for updating the photos

at least, it gives me reasons to laugh and be happy at work.. :)

boo hooo.. boringggggg.. 

i am at the 3rd week of preparing my first report

but i got stuck with the boring simulation

it keeps giving me an error and i have not even an idea how to solve it

and that was where it ended.. since last friday

hehe.. screw me.. i'm doomed!

report is due next 2 weeks

and i got test that very same weekend.. adoi la..

this masters thingy seriously drains all my energy..

cepat la habessss.. so that i can hang myself when i start my PhD.. 

sighhh...

  INITIAL CONDITIONS SUSPECT:

      I   DSTATE(I)    STATE(I)     MODEL   STATE     BUS# X-- NAME --X BASKV  ID

      1   -1.0653          3.0469          GENSAL   K           1                     1

     11  -0.65344E-01   1.4408      GENROE   K           3                     1

     39    1.5135       0.0000      HYGOV    K           1                     1

     41   -3.0269       2.3435      HYGOV    K+2         1                     1

hajar's wedding

"..selamat pengantin baru hajar & reza.."

one of my closest friends back in highschool tied the knot yesterday
and she looked stunningly gorgeous and beautiful in pink
anyway, babe.. i'm glad i made it to ur wedding yesterday
we might have lost touch for years
but i'm grateful that the friendship never fades..
i love u babe.. lets get pregnant same2.. :)

bowwwwriiinkkk

life is so gonna be super hectic
went to my first masters class this semester
(after ditching 3 classes in a row)
only to find out that the schedules are gonna be changed
we'll be having night class!
yes, u heard me right
we gonna have f**king night classes
so i'll be having 2 pm - 6 pm AND 8.30 pm - 10.30 pm class on saturday
AND 9 am - 6 pm on SUNDAY!
can u imagine thaaaatt??
by the end of the weekend, i'm bushed, man.. seriously..
huwaaaaaaa..

i am still hoping that the changes only take effect on one subject
not the other two
or else i am pretty sure i am gonna extend my masters until god knows when
huhu..

i need to do some serious thinking if i were to get pregnant soon
i can't lead this kinda life when i am pregnant
honestly
go out for work at 6am and come back at 8pm
and wake up at 5.30am the next day
go to work again..
and classes during weekend
and at least for now i dont give a damn (yet) about my masters project
but once i get started, those free times (which are very few!) should be filled with studying and assignments and projects
aihhhh.. sangat susah.. i don't think i can cope
to ditch my masters is not an option i guess
but to ditch work, as in to stop working is definitely an option (hehee..!)
but then, we gonna face a financial problem, definitely
wouldnt it be great if i can work from home?
hmmm..

a blissful wedded life

i've been a wifey for 2 weeks already.. :)
how fast time flies
Alhamdulillah.. life has been pretty good for us
(hopefully it will remain that way all the times.. insyaAllah..)
and i am loving every moment of it
even though the food that i cook don't taste that nice
but i still try my best to cook everyday despite the fact that we are only home after 8pm

and i still try my best to wake up a few minutes early than my husband in the morning so that i can prepare a cup of coffee for him.. :)

(my husband now settled for 3-in-1 coffee after my 2 attempts of bancuh-sendiri-and-tak-sedap coffee.. hahaha..)

i seriously need to brush my cooking skill lah altho i doubt i have any, to begin with.. :p

but i am super lucky to have a great husband whose favourite dishes are singgang ikan and sardin.. 

it would make my life easier because those food are easy to prepare, right? or wrong? 

(>.<)!

maybe with a kitchen cabinet and proper kitchen utensils i can properly cook nice food kot.. (alasan..!)

and yay..! today, husband will get that kitchen cabinet for me and MIL has been kind enough to sedekah one kuali for us.. as in real kuali not that cheapo 7-pieces wutever i have been using since last week.. terseksa ok nak masak.. sambil bersila lak tu.. hehehe..

so, that is how my married life is so far.. :)

loving every single moments of it

especially the salam-cium-tangan & cium-dahi after the solat jemaah..

i am soOooooooo loving it.. seriously..

rase sangat terharu okkay.. :p

so my friends (especially my babes who are still single i.e. atie and shaxu.. hehehe..)

cepat2 la kawen okkay.. nnt bleh solat jemaah dgn husband.. :)

outdoor portraiture

some of the photos of our outdoor photoshoot at KL Birdpark.. :)
initially we wanted to shoot at bukit tinggi but my babes couldn't make it
so, we opted for nearer venue..
i dun really fancy the place, to be honest..
but then, with great companies, mane2 pun pasti seronok..! hehehe..

s.h.o.p.p.i.n.g

destination 1: kedai makan

had early lunch


destination 2: tesco puchong

bought household items; mop, baldi, pillow, detergent, penyapu, etc
total damage: approx. RM200


destination 3: furniture mall, puchong

surveyed some furniture i.e. dining table, kitchen cabinet, sofa, tv cabinet
total damage: approx RM1000 (next month tapi.. hehe)


destination 4: jusco ioi mall

bought a small fridge suits for 2 person (bajet2..) and a dvd player and 2-panel curtain
total damage: RM700


destination 5: ikea

bought some small household items + lamp (on sale.. yay!) + half-dozen karipap + meatballs
total damage: RM60


destination 6: sunway pyramid

our very first movie date as husband&wife: public enemies (not recommended.. boring!)
total damage: RM16


additional things to buy:

1. tv cabinet
2. carpet(s)
3. dining table
4. pokok2 hijau
5. washing machine
6. katil + tilam
7. wut else??
   

u.p.d.a.t.e (2)

u.p.d.a.t.e

*the first two pics credit to my friends shimie

these are some of the pictures taken by un-professional photographers.. hehe..
official photos by professional photogs will be uploaded soon once i got it..
anyway, eventho it is a bit belated
but i would like to officially thank all my babes and friends for sharing the moment with me..
thank you for staying super late at my house the night before the wedding
thank you so much by helping out with the preparation and the majlis itself
thank you so much for being there
and most of all thank you so much for being my friends
u know how much it means having your loved ones sharing your most special day..
i love you guys so much.. and nothing can ever change that!
let's stay friends till death do us part.. seriously!

w.e.d.d.i.n.g

gambar lain letak later sbb this is the only gambar yg ade kt desktop *malas nk search*

4.o.u.r | tr3 | 2wo | one

pic taken during my engagement 06.07.08

*sekadar gambar hiasan*

yay!
had my foot scrubbed yesterday evening (finally!)
and funny thing was..
the guy who did the scrubbing was promoting their pay-only-rm35 package to me..
and I said i was not interested because i had no intention to come again
and he asked why so i told him..
"saye buat ni semate2 sbb saye nk kahwin ahad ni, kalau tk konfem tk buat"
and he was surprised, lantas berkate
"kak, ni first time saye dgr orang nk kawen buat kaki, biase nye org kawen buat muke.. facial la.. itu la.. ini la.."
i smiled and said.. "aah kn.. saye facial pn tk buat.. tkpe.. muke bleh make up.."
hehehehe.. :p

seriously, i don't give a damn about my face.. wonder why..
maybe because i know that make up can do wonders kot
that's why it is not my priority at all to do facial or what not
(except threading.. hehe.. )
but, my foot.. well, that is definitely very important to me
because i want to inai my whole kaki and i don't want to wear socks
so, my foot need to look pretty because i am so gonna sit bersila while akad
and i don't want people sitting behind or next to me have an unpleasent view of my tumit and tapak kaki.. hehehe
because i know how disgusting it is having an un-scrubbed kaki.. :p
anyway, that is about it lah..
kaki.. checked!
threading.. not-checked! hehehe..

this is gonna be my last entry before i become a puan
because my AL unofficially starts tomorrow
hehe..
i don't want to come to work esok because a colleague of mine whose brother is getting married on the same day as mine applied for 2-days leave starting khamis.. it is unfair kn..
i am the bride, so i shud cuti earlier than him..
so, tomorrow i wont be around anymore..
woohoooo..
and i'll be going back on thursday evening with abang and kakak
need to pick up the wedding outfit, cuppies and muffin
and then, wait for abang to arrive from perth
and then, i'll be on my way home
and when i arrive home, the khemah will aready be waiting
because the mak andam insisted on setting them up on khamis eventho my kenduri is on ahad
sighhhh... tk kesah la tp.. as long as it looks nice.. :)

6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 and...

same time, same day next week..
i am someone's wife
i am gonna be a wife..
i.am.going.to.be.a.WIFE..!!!!!!!
woohooo.. u gotta be kidding.. :p

ok, tibe2 rase tk ready to carry the responsibilities..
pinch me.. pinch me..
ouchhh.. it is a reality..
i am gonna be a puan..
dam dim dum..

honestly, eventho i think i am not that matured to be a wife
(well, maturity is very subjective actually)
but i am sooooOo very the ready to be a mummy
hehehehe..
i want a baby girl, and then a baby boy
and another baby girl and baby girl and a baby boy..
(yeahh, i want 5 kids..!)
but.. first thing first..

okkay..

so wedding preparations are almost done
most of the things have been paid in full
cuma tinggal nk collect je
and i loveeeee my wedding outfit
love.. love.. love..
because it got lotsa buttons at the front..
hehehe..
and i love the color..
eventho it makes my fiance looks kel-ier..
(sorry syg.. hehe..)
but it is perfect (to my eyes..) eventho it is very the simple.. :)

a place called h.o.m.e

pic courtesy of www.iproperty.com

Alhamdulillah
we finally got ourselves a 3-bedroom apartment
and it is nice, very nice indeed
tho size-wise, it is a bit small
but i think it is big enough la kot for both of us
for a start kan..
lagi pun, it is just a 5-minutes (or less) drive to abang's house
hehe
anything, tak cukup bawang ke ape can just run to his house
(even tho tesco is merely 1km away.. lol..)

to babes,
insyaAllah, once i get the house ready
i will throw a housewarming party okkay
but it is located on the 3rd floor
so selamat mendaki lah.. hehe..

w.e.d.d.i.n.g gift

ALHAMDULILLAH..
my second wedding gift..
but definitely the BEST one everrrrrrrrrrrrr..!!
yay..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*jumping*

w.e.d.d.i.n.g outfit

i soooOOo want the bunga-citra-lestari wedding outfit..!!
i want.. i want.. i want..!!
but i cannot fit into the baju..
simply because it is merely 1.5 inches smaller..!!
and stOoopid boutique..
there is no room for alteration.. no room at all..
konon nye, they ordered the baju specially from indonesia..
but why can't they make it a li'l bigger..
u know, for someone like me..!!!
it is a discrimination.. seriously..
all the vogue and cantik2 nye baju are limited to small-size people..
abes, orang gemok like me cannot wear pretty clothes on my wedding day?!
stOooooopid.. verrrryyy the stoooOoopid..
everytime i pointed to baju2 yg cantik..
they went like "oh, sorry dik, itu kecik..".."oh sorry dik, yg tu tk muat dgn adik.."
oh.. like wutever..!

ka-ching

things to do:

1. fitting baju at jalan tar (saturday, 13 june) - Rm350
   
2. buy tudung putih for akad (saturday, 13 june) - RM50
   
3. fitting baju at bangi (thursday, 18 june) - RM800
   
4. photoshoot for bunting (asap!) - RM100 for 2
   
5. ambik bunga dulang at pantai dalam (asap!) - balance RM94
   
6. buy chocolate at midvalley - RM 100
   
7. buy Quran - RM 30
   
8. buy candies at Mydin - RM 50
   
9. buy comforter set at jusco - RM 150
   
10. ambik cupcakes at sg.ramal dalam (thursday, 2 july) - paid
    
11. ambik muffin at shah alam (thursday, 2 july) - RM 100
    
12. ambik chocolate at midvalley (thursday, 2 july) - balance RM 50
    
13. ambik choc truffles at allamanda (thursday, 2 july) - paid
    
14. ambik baju sanding at jalan tar (thursday, 2 july) - RM 350

anyone care to sponsor?! u are most welcomed.. :p

*additional

1. compile wedding songs
   
2. room decorations
3. buy another 2 pieces of polystyrene
4. remind mak to collect borang kebenaran berkahwin
5. pedicure at dr. kaki
6. manicure
7. contact lense
8. check with butik pengantin pasal white veil
9. buy brooches & some accessories (or anyone ade silver accessories for me to pnjm?)
10. engrave cincin at selberan
11. book 3 hotel room for syg's family
    
12. book 2 hotel room for babes and photographers
    

wut else? wut else?

m.y. BACHELORETTE p.a.r.t.y

"I have friends in overalls whose friendship I would not swap for the favor of the kings of the world.."
~Thomas A. Edison

no words can explain how grateful i am to have such wonderful, wonderful friends..
thank you everyone ..
especially my babes for organizing such a memorable event.. thumbs up!

thank you so much.. :)