some things are better left unsaid..

.. baby prefers my womb more than anything else in the world so she decides to stay inside a little while longer.. she was weighing at 3.5kg as of Saturday, 13th nov.. the doctor again reminded me for countless times that i should watch my diet as to not let the baby gets too big.. please reduce ur nasi intake she said again and again.. so for the sake of my little princess and myself, finally i gave in.. i stop eating rice for the past 2 days.. yay to me but not to others.. the doctor will be doing IOL next week monday when i am 40 weeks 2 days.. i actually requested to be induced before raya haji because to me, why wait when at the end of the day i still have to go thru the same process right.. (note: IOL adelah proses induce) but the doctor told me there is a very high chance that i might have to go through a c-sect because there is no contractions yet so she scheduled the induction on 22nd nov.. which is totally fine with me.. because i trust her.. she is a doctor after all.. a specialist some more.. when she says it's normal then it must be normal right.. i mean, there is no point in her telling lies, am i right or wrong? so, i take it as it is and feel perfectly ok.. even though, there is prolly 5% of doubt but then the feeling subsided when i asked a friend of mine who went thru exactly the same thing as i am now.. except in her case she ended up having a c-sect because up to her EDD, still no contractions..

so..

it's very very very much displeasing when some people started to.. well, as my title goes.. some things are better left unsaid.. so, i better stop now.. pouring my heart out won't do anyone good.. :(

i am..

i.

officially 39 weeks comes tomorrow.. and still going strong.. i mean, honestly, i haven't felt any sorta contractions just yet.. omg, is this normal or what? most of my friends whose EDD is a few days before me or even AFTER had safely delivered their babies and here i am.. well, a friend said i should enjoy the moment while it lasts.. of course.. but at the same time, being a first timer, i am still worried.. over nothing, i guess.. well, will be going for a check-up tomorrow and the doctor is going to do the membrane sweeping if i am not mistaken.. i don't know what the procedure is, i am just assuming.. because last time i requested the doctor if there is any way to speed up the process but no induction whatsoever.. and she said yes while mentioning something like urut2 wutever.. i don't know..

ii.

bored.. beyond explanation! been doing nothing at home except walking aimlessly from bedroom to the living room to the kitchen like mad people.. one minute i was surfing the net, the next time i was already at the kitchen opening up the fridge, scanning whatever things called food and then jump on the couch.. and the next minute plak seeing me lying on my bed trying hard to sleep.. and yes, waking up a few hours after, repeating the same routine.. crazy, huh?

iii.

going shopping in a few minutes time..! yay, the idea of getting outta the house is very refreshing you know.. hehe.. i wonder how it feels like living in jail.. >.

yesterday, today, tomorrow

tomorrow will be the third day of my AL.. how fast time flies.. yuckiess.. 

yesterday i was pretty occupied.. came back from bangi and then sent hubster to his office and then did some grocery shopping at giant.. chillax2 at home, found a new blog to read, and the next thing i knew, it was already 10pm.. it was time to pick up hubster.. so i drove alone to klcc at 10.30pm.. i bet people at the petronas station were wondering what the hell this pregnant lady did out of her home so late at night.. heheh.. mom was also surprised to know that i am still driving around but then there is no reason why i shouldn't, should i? a friend had been asking is there any sign yet bla..bla.. and i don't know what to answer.. what kinda signs should i be getting.. i mean, yeahh.. of course there are those signs, the bloody show, the lightening and what not.. but i haven't felt anything just yet.. i even doubt i have braxton hicks.. errr.. is it normal or is it just me being so ignorant? but one thing i am very sure of.. my baby is so comfy inside my womb that up to my 37th week check up last saturday she was still in the normal position., when are you coming out little princess?

anyway, today did nothing.. just cooked lunch for hubster before he went off to office and slept from 3ish until 6ish.. and tomorrow i'm planning to do some 'walking' around.. need to go to bank islam and register tabung haji.. oh yeahhh, i've been procrastinating since forever ok.. i think i did open the account when i was in form 1.. wait.. that was.. 14 years ago?? haha.. so i doubt the account still valid.. anyway, i was planning to go perform the hajj when i am 35 yo which is 8 years from now but then according to our *ahemm* family planning, our 4th child will be just one year old so might postpone our hajj to year 2022 or 2023 in which i'll be 40 and hubster will be 49 by then.. just nice.. :).. insyaAllah, but the sooner the better.. semoga Allah permudahkn segalanya, Amin..

anyway, i'm almost done with all the preparation.. so happy with my online purchase.. i made the payment for the cooler bag & reusable ice packs at around 4pm on friday and to my surprise i received the parcel in less than 24 hours! the only thing(s) that is still pending is the car seat (which abang promised to sponsor.. yay!) and the stroller.. and i am not sure whether i should get it (the stroller) now or wait until my confinement is over? any idea anyone? 

btw, it's already 10.39pm..  hubster will be home in 2 hours time.. his office hours begins at 2pm (or 3pm) and finishes at 11pm (or 12pm).. it's ok now that i am staying at home but how la.. nnt when i start working smule.. still haven't figured out.. tk kn la every mlm nk kene angkut baby pegi klcc.. huhu.. and to get another car? oh my, our dream home will be even farther away than we could have imagined now.. hmmmm..

seriously?

googled

i have a colleague whose EDD is a week earlier than mine.. she went for her AL starting last monday and i will go on mine starting next monday.. and guess what??

she already delivered her baby girl last night at 1.50 am..!!

does that mean i'll be delivering mine next week too????

oh gosh.. sounds funny, but seriously gluk2 mate bergenang when i heard the news a few minutes ago..

huwaaa.. suddenly i have this panic attack.. tibe2 aje.. perhaps, all this while i have been living in.. denial??? i don't know.. i was so positive before up to a point rase nk lempang diri sendiri but then when it hits me right in my face that this is totally not a joke.. that i am seriously becoming a mom anytime soon, wa jadik panic and nervous and smue lah..

and suddenly i realize that i still have a lot of things to do/buy.. car seat tk beli lagi, breastfriend pillow and breastpad tk claim lagi kt lia, goodie bags for aqiqah, mommy's hospital bag, digicam.. aaahhhh.. so much of early planning la dulu kn.. tengok, still bnyk lagi jugak nk buat time last minute.. huhu

ya Allah, semoga kau permudahkn segalanya.. Amin Ya Rabbal 'Alamin.. 



i am head over heels for... (update)

.. taraaaaa..


googled

yes, bookXcess.. and before i begin our 'lovestory' i must thank my SIL for introducing me to this bookshop.. seriously, my life is never the same again after my first 'date' with bookXcess

i never remembered myself as ulatbuku when i was a kid.. i did read a lot but mostly buku2 pelajaran hence the reason why i can memorize the whole buku karangan mase standard 6? freak bukan.. haha.. tp enid blyton tu ade la sket2.. anyway, the hobby came when i was in tkc where r.l stine and sweet valley macam dh jadi text books.. a must read among most of us.. so that was when i really developed the reading habit and started buying almost all the latest r.l stine books available in store at that time.. and trust me, the public library was the most frequent place i visited while waiting for my spm result sampai i ran outta books to read.. mind u, i only read chick lit novels yer (minus r.l stine la tu mase kecik2).. :D.. i don't do sci-fi or bibliography etc.. may be one day.. hehe

and the love i have for books just never stopped there but being a cheapskate, slalu sangat la tk sanggup nk beli buku sbb agak mahal.. usually a novel costs around rm40 the cheapest.. so imagine if i were to buy 5 books at one time tk ke dh almost rm200 tu.. (mmg la bleh tolak income tax tp still........... haha).. so, when i was introduced to bookXcess, wa jadi super jakun.. serious shit ok, mase first time pegi jadi mcm semput sbb mcm smue buku pn nk rembat.. super duper cheap even much cheaper kot than a secondhand bookstore..! contoh: twilight series rm29.90 je each ok.. brand new.. kalau kt mp.h rm69.90 right?? so at that time i bought.. hmm.. 5 novels which was rm9.90 each.. murah giler amat bukan? u can even get all those cecilia ahern etc at rm17.90 ONLY..! mane la wa tk gile kn..

so, since the novels and buku2 lain are terlalu la murah maka i have to restrain myself from going there sbb for sure akan bankrupt.. huhu.. but now, with the baby coming out soon, jadi makin bankrupt sbb buku2 baby and kids are sumpah banyak and smue la interesting teramat.. and one thing for sure, bookXcess akan jadi a must-place to visit every week dgn baby AM nnt.. wajib! :) and i'll make sure my baby develops the reading habit as early as possible.. marilah menyahut seruan kerajaan.. mari membaca.. :)

p/s: did i tell u that bookXcess now has all the series of dr.seuss?? super like.. u can get the hard cover one at rm14.90 je and yg biase at rm12.90.. aritu beli kt mp.h rm19.90 satu ok.. 

since a few of my friends have been asking pasal bookXcess ni u can check their website at http://www.bookxcess.com/ or http://bookxcessblog.com/ .. no, i don't get commission ok.. hehe.. i just want to promote and nurture a good reading habit among us all.. i know, just like me, ramai yg suke membace tp malas membeli.. :D

title-less

i. time seems to move super slow this month.. don't u think so? or perhaps i'm the only one who suffers because (1) gaji awal sgt last month which was on the 23rd sept (2) gaji dh abes mase pegi convo kt skudai (3) there are still a lot of things to buy for little one yet gaji lmbt gile lagi masuk.. well, that might be the reasons kot.. adoiii.. 26th oct is like 12 days away lagi and i'm surviving on hubster's or else tiap2 hari minom teh tarik free je kt pantry..

ii. i'm down with fever for two nights already.. temperature going high everytime malam menjelma.. seriously sangat uncomfy to have a good sleep as i tend to wake up at midnight dgn badan berpeluh2.. 16 degrees aircond + full blast kipas lantai + full blast ceiling fan pn masih tk mampu menghilang kn kepanasan.. well, the weather might be the penyebab because it hasn't rained for the last few days kn? there wasn't even a drop of embun when we went out this morning.. so, marilah kite menyokong tenaga nuklear merangkap tenaga hijau dlm mengurangkn kepanasan.. boleh? haha..

iii. i think i can feel the braxton hicks already.. tp masih tidak pasti.. but i feel like having a very mild period pain.. mcm tu ke rase braxton hicks??!

iv. ptg ni hubster nk belanje lamb chop.. yay! mengidam since aritu

v. did i tell u that my hubster got a new job already? well, Alhamdulillah rezeki baby.. :).. so after this no more 12-hour shift for him means more time can be spent with me and our baby soon.. and yg penting no more lonely nights eventho still ade shift but it's only 8-hour a day.. and i no more drive to office! yay.. sbb hubster will take an lrt from abdullah hukum to klcc and klcc to abdullah hukum..

TGIF:Thank God I'm Fat

as to date, i have a few drafts which have yet to be published.. and i think it will remain that way because i just don't feel like sharing my thoughts anymore.. but then, that was before and now i am back again tho there is actually nothing to cerita pn..

anyway, congratulations to one of my babes, maryam for the arrival of her new bundle of joy, baby nina maisara.. haven't got time to visit both baby sara (memandai claim sendiri panggil sara.. hehe) and the mother due to my busy and memanjang-full weekend.. perhaps, the following week kot.. oh, i need to go to lia's hse too to collect all the barang sedekah.. hehehe.. lucky i have such a wonderful sister-friend (ade ke term ni..) who gave birth to her second princess last may.. so, she insisted on handing down most of her items which i really2 need tp agak malas nk beli.. for example: my breast friend pillow and lotsa breastpad and banyaaak lagi (according to her la).. thanx sistah! :)

i'll be entering the 35th week soon which means secara normal nye, i have like 3 weeks plus to go or theoretically, 5 weeks more.. and so far, i am still doing ok.. i still have no idea what braxton hicks is so i don't know whether it's happening or not.. kaki masih ok.. the only thing that is pretty uncomfortable is the calf-cramp waktu mlm.. ouch.. it hurts a lot because it happens kat calf.. not tapak kaki.. and i've tried various remedies i found on the internet but to no avail.. so, everytime it happens, i would just sit down, and kelip2 mata tahan sakit and then fall asleep again after 3-4 'attacks'.. i can feel with my hand, the urat2 become hardens tp tahan je la.. huhu.. after all, sakit beranak and sakit mati and perhaps sakit gigi jugak jauh lagi sakit bukan.. *positive thinking*..

bercakap pasal cramp, oh my, these few days i have been doing more walking than a 35th week pregnant lady should do.. everyday i need to climb up/down untuk smpi ke rumah which is at the 3rd floor of a 4-storey-no-elevator apartment.. dekat office pulak, much thanx to the suke-hati-menjunam-tibe2 elevator, i need to panjat tangga all the way to 6th floor for a daily meeting.. everyday wa cakap lu.. not to mention, toilet yg tgh renovate so i have to either turun or naik one floor up utk gi toilet and amek wudhu.. so in total, setiap hari wa panjat more than 10 floors ok.. ni kalau susah lagi nk bersalin, mmg aku carik sorg2 sape yg ckp bnyk berjalan senang bersalin.. huhu

well, what else? i'm planning to take a one week leave prior to my EDD if in case dr.raja tknk bagi mc like the doctors kt panta! yg willingly bagi 2 weeks mc suruh rest kt umah (heavennn!).. so that means, i have like 10 days more at the office (i got 5 days course at !lsas nx week.. yay!).. best nye.. :)

so what...

..if i am a local graduate?

i just don't understand why some.. well.. most people actually suke double standard org2 yg graduate overseas.. i mean, what makes them better than us, the local graduate? i am not blaming those graduates but i am blaming org2 yg men-double standard kn mereka2 ini.. just because they got a chance to study abroad does NOT mean they are more clever than us, the local graduate..

do you know that i got 9A's for my SPM and that i was offered by FOUR organizations to further study oversea? see.. i am not stupid.. but i rejected the offerS because my mom did not allow me (and my brother, too) to go abroad.. no matter how teruk i cried at that time.. so i chose uniten which apparently a LOCAL university.. and again was offered 2 scholarships by 2 different BIG companies..

at times, rase amat terhina to see that face whenever i mentioned i am from uniten/utm.. as if, duhh, local je.. rase mcm, huh.. knape bile someone ckp diye grad from UK (for example) people would go.. wahh.. mesti hebat ni.. kenape? nk kate those graduates ckp english gempak, mcm ramai je yg lintang pukang.. and bersepah je my friends yg local grad ckp english much much much better.. so what makes them BETTER than the local grad? kenape, kenape perlu double standard?

anyway, soalan tersebut masih remain unanswered.. sbb itu la mentaliti kebanyakan rakyat malaysia.. asal pergi oversea je konfem gempak, hebat, genius etc.. tp tkpe, since i can't change that fact, maka, marilah sambung belajar di oversea utk Ph.D supaya org tk pandang rendah kt kite.. :)

i am..

..officially graduated from UTM with a Master in Engineering (Electrical Power)
phewwww.. the ceremony was ok but i think i prefer my bach. degree graduation in uniten better because it was more formal walaupun tkde royal family.. for example: in uniten we were not allowed to clap hands until the last name being announced so suasana mcm senyap sunyi and org boleh focus kt people receiving scroll on stage.. and time dpt tepuk tu mmg tepuk gile2 sbb puas hati smpi nk menitik air mate terharu etc.. tp kt utm, kene tepuk utk each and everyone so jd tk best sbb after a few names, org dh malas nk tepuk and bunyi pn dh tk sedap.. kelepet kelepet cmtu and by the time the last name dh tkde perasaan ape2.. so nothing special.. even mase queue nk naik stage pn smue org bercakap2 so tk rase formal and to me rase tk best..

tapiiiiiii.. the best thing was.. mase i was waiting for my turn and my name was being announced, baby A.M kicked really hard and sumpah mata gluk2 tibe2.. i know i was just being emotional.. she didn't even know what happen outside tp mungkin sbb terkejut ade bunyi kuat but still.. sumpah rase terharu.. being on stage receiving ur scroll with ur baby!! it was priceless!!

anyway, i still tk puas hati sbb grad fees mahal and majlis biasa2 aje.. hehe.. tk dtg pn tk apo sbenarnye.. btw, my SV called me after the ceremony and asked.. "so bile nk sambung Ph.D?".. i was like adoi.. tk smpi sejam grad master dh tny bile nk sambung Ph.D.. huhu.. but then, of course la i do have a plan.. at least before i turn 30 which is another 3 years time.. tp husbter isn't convinced enuff.. afraid i couldnt stand the pressure.. research master pn dh macam org gile apetah Ph.D kn.. tp i know i want to do it and it MUST be sumthing related to nuclear engineering cume i don't know where and when..

p/s: i didn't get the best student award for my course.. frust nyer.. if it wasn't for that 3 subjects with B+.. i shud have graduated with 4 flat!!!!!!!!!!!

jiwa kosong

raya means nothing to me this year.. i felt totally, completely empty and at lost.. i didn't bother to take even one photo pn.. lemang didn't taste that good.. nothing seems right.. i mean, tk mcm raya langsung except for the new baju kurung and that was it.. i was just totally not in the mood at all.. so, coming back to office on the 5th day of syawal adelah bukan satu masalah besar langsung and how i wish for the raya holiday to end even sooner..

anyway, nonetheless, i hope it ain't too late to wish everyone a selamat hari raya and maaf zahir batin..

monthly check up!

pic googled

so we went for the 7 months check up when i was already 29 weeks pregnant
it was just a brief meeting with the doctor.. less than 10 minutes
we did the 3D scan and she asked whether i got problem or not
i told her about the pain and she said it's normal
well, i already asked my friend about it actually (thanx dr. fazlin! will keep bothering u.. :D.. )
and i only found out today that the pain is called loose pelvic ligament or something like that.. it hurts ok.. sampai rase mcm nk terduduk but then i keep telling myself that beranak itu lagi saket maka ok la.. boleh tahan.. huhu

anyway, again this time baby A.M didn't give much cooperation
she hid her face behind her hands and when the doctor touched my belly she turned the other way round.. but then bile doctor suruh lie on my side, tadaaaaa.. we could see the face almost clearly..! and she was drinking at that time.. mulut gerak2 OMG rase terharu and nk nanges tgk ade SOMEONE inside my tummy.. huhu.. anyway, she is one SUPER DUPER chubby baby ok.. seres pipi amattttt bulat and.. ehemmm.. she looks like me (so far la.. hehe) hopefully,warna kulit pn ikut mummy.. hehehehe.. peace hubster.. :p

but when the doctor captured her in 3D she was moving so the pic was a bit blurry but everyone said she is smiling in that picture.. sukeeeeeeeeee.. :).. and we have to wait for the 8 months check up kate doctor in order to get a clearer picture of her.. so, in 3 weeks time, mummy & daddy will see u again ok sweetheart.. :).. next check up is scheduled on 28th of sept.. and that will mark my 8th month of pregnancy.. ouchhh.. sudah tidak lame.. huhu

oh deyyymnn

... one of my solid reason for not attending the convo ceremony is because i don't want to spend rm250 just for the fee alone.. minus the travelling cost and what not.. no i am not that stingy but the fact that i have to splurge almost 1K for the sake of having my photo taken on the stage ade lah tidak berbaloi.. what with the ceremony yg 2 weeks after raye and my edd which is less than 2 months away after the convo.. banyakkk lagi duit nk gune.. yes, to me the photo is not thaaat important, what is more is the certificate itself which can just be posted to me by the uni, or so i thot..

so with the idea of not going for the convo,i was happily planning on buying the 'final' stuff for my baby i.e. car seat, baby bouncer and baby carrier.. and with the bonus coming in just at the rightest time, i was even much more happier sbb ade duit extra so boleh membeli belah sebanyak sedikit lebih utk baby..

tapi, angan2 ku musnah pagi ini selepas dpt tahu that the rm250 adelah wajib di bayar.. maka, selepas di timbang tara (?!!) i decided to just go for the ceremony lagi pn kesian jugak dekat my mom.. mesti nk tgk anak diye ambik scroll smue tu kn eventhough yours truly tkde perasaan pn.. maka, segala cita2 utk bershopping tamat di sini saje..

as a conclusion, siape2 yang membace, dan berniat nk menghadiahkn barang baby utk baby A.M, boleh pilih option di bawah:

a) bright starts musical pretty in pink baby bouncer (tk mahal.. rm199 je.. hehe)
b) mothercare 2-way baby carrier (lagi tk mahal.. rm120 je)

hahahaha..

tp mungkin ade hikmah di sebalik smue ni.. since baby A.M akan same2 naik pentas dgn mummy nye nnt mase amek scroll, mungkin akan bagi semangat utk jadi rajen belajar bile dh besar dan ikut jejak mummy amek master.. aminnnnnnn.. :)..

a long one..

yay.. raya leave has been approved meaning i have only 2 more working days before i am off to kampung halaman on monday night.. i can't wait for the day to come a bit faster not because of hari raya but because i am too lazy to drag my heavy ass to the office.. i am looking forward for the holiday not the celebration because to me personally raya is just.. another ordinary day.. maybe a little extra ordinary with the solat sunat, food etc.. but what i'm trying to say is that honestly i don't fancy hari raya since i don't know when.. perhaps after arwah wan left us and most of my cousins (yours truly included) settled down and have their own family.. so like, no more family gathering the night before raya at wan's house, no more masak lemang & rendang beramai2, tour wajib to the last pasar ramadhan a day before raya with cousins or melantak sup tulang tgh mlm, main mercun.. or sebenarnye bunga api je (itu pn one of my pakcik dh bising bahaye etc2..), and bersesak2 carik port untuk tido and many2 more.. those memories are definitely will be missed because things have totally changed these days..

raya is no more meriah.. especially this year.. what more with husband only coming back on the first day of syawal so there will be just me and mom at home.. totally nothing to look forward to.. bought two boxes of f!r3crack3rs but i am not sure whether i will even be opening the box.. mungkin sedekah kt anak2 jiran je nnt itu pn if they are around and tk balik kg..

the only thing that i am looking forward to is perhaps the fooooood! since i doubt i can celebrate hari raya haji as my EDD is on 20th nov.. so, this is the time to jolap all the dagingggggssss rendang, lemang, nasi impit.. u name it.. and with the bulging tummy i will not have to worry perut buncit sbb kekenyangan ke ape.. yay!!! sedap nye lemang panas yg lembik2 sket tu mkn dgn rendang ayam/daging.. and mom's nasi impit dgn kuah kacang yg pedas tu mkn skali dgn rendang.. :D

anyway, off to another topic.. my 7 months check up will be this saturday.. i am scheduled to have that tetanus injection wutever it is.. i personally requested to have it eventho the doctor mentioned nothing during the last visit but now i have a second thot because i don't like the after effect.. org ckp tgn kebas la, extra lesu la, etc2.. it's ramadhan and i am already a little extra lesu and what with the injection nnt jadi super lesu.. ishhh.. but then, y do i have to listen to what others cakap2 kn..

.....!

sumthing is definitely bothering me
but i won't tell a thing here because nobody will understand
and even if they do, they might interpret it wrongly

as much as i want to let it out, i can't, i just can't
i have many hearts to take care of
but i don't know how much longer can i survive
it's getting heavier to carry each passing day

dear Allah, please give me strength :(

i am not that strong..

this has got nothing to do with an increased level of estrogen or any pregnancy related whatsoeva but honestly i can't look at this kinda picture without tears streaming down my face.. no joke!

i can look at disabled people on the street begging or kids without any feeling (sound so mean, ouch..!) but not warga emas.. a big no no..

it started way back when i was a first former in high school.. we had this kinda visit to the old folks home in seremban.. it was my first ever visit to such place (and the last.. huhu) and boy, i just kept crying almost all the time while i was there which was a pretty bad thing u see.. because these nenek/atuk dh mmg obviously sedih, stressed and what not and supposedly i (and the rest) were there to at least cheer them up and kept them companied but my presence just added to their misery.. dok menanges meleleh air mate mase salam and visit derg atas katil.. *omg, sumpah nanges igt balik those moment*

so, i told myself.. i am not being selfish but i can't let myself go through such thing again.. i mean, simply put.. i am not strong..! i cannot be there and pretend that i am happy tho deep down inside i really want to make them happy by at least making the suasana meriah.. because i know, they all miss their kids (yg kurang hajar pegi antar mak bapak ke rumah org tua) and the least we can do is to let them know that they are people that actually care for them.. but no, i won't do that.. all i can do is doa dari jauh because as i said, i am not strong enough to face them.. i am seriously not..

p/s: this will be the third raya without arwah wan around.. that means.. it's been 3 years plus wan had left us.. Al-fatihah.. semoga roh arwah wan di tempatkn di kalangan org yg beriman.. Amin..

kerisauan melampau..

i'll be officially 7 months pregnant come this monday which means i have less than 3 months to go.. bunyi mcm lame tp sbenarnye skejap ajo.. i can't even believe i am already this far tup2 dh nk enter the 3rd trimester..

btw, seperti biase i have nothing to do at the office.. (i don't have any specific task yet, cume assisting here and there, attend meeting and what not..) so today i spent half the day blog-hopping bace pasal BF which apparently the one thing that i seriously worry about.. as if, sangat2 risau to a point my friend pn dh bosan re-assuring me that things will be ok.. huhu..

anyway, i am soooo very very very very determined to fully breastfeed my baby at least for 2 years (seperti yg tertules dlm Quran, if i am not mistaken).. tp lagi lame lagi bagus.. and i have nothing against those who tk BF but i am afraid if they start giving bad comments.. or worse discourage me from BFing.. i've read a lot about this dlm blog pasal other people experience and this seriously scares the s**t outta me.. i am afraid i won't be as tough as they are.. huwaaaaaa..

pic googled

but lucky thing, i am gonna berpantang at my mom's house so i don't think it'll be much prob to BF cume i ain't sure how far my mom supports this.. but i've dropped hints that i want to fully BF and told mom many times about my plan on buying the breastpump etc just so she knows how determined and serious i am in this.. and i hope she will be my biggest supporter aside from hubster.. sbb i know, during the first 2 months la is the most crucial time for BFing mommy.. kalau dh terfail mase tu mmg chances to fail utk selame - lamenye mmg cerah.. huhu.. seriously la.. fikir pasal problem2 ni je dh cukup buat rase gluk2 ok.. sumpah la sangat risauuuuuu.. :((

pic googled

ya Allah, semoga Kau permudahkn segalanya.. amin..

btw, anyone knows where can i get monavie at a slightly cheaper price? :)

iWant..

Lencho

Baby Tama

<>

Ping

Poallu

Hada

www.thelilcaliph.com


i want.. i want.. i want..
but not for me..
for my baby..
cute giler kn? especially hada..

tibe-tibe..

..rase tknk pegi convo boleh tk? sbb macam tkde perasaan and mcm tk berape nk cukup bajet.. siape suruh buat 2 weeks after raye time2 org tgh miskin.. huhu..

..tapi macam nk gi jalan2 ke penang.. sbb nk mkn nasi kandar line clear, cendol yg famous tu and pasembor.. hmmmm..

..

..Can we pretend that airplanes

In the night sky

Are like shooting stars

I could really use a wish right now

wish right now..

The Company

after almost 4 months here, there are a number of things i admire so much about the company

i. the fact that everybody don't greet good morning to each other but give assalamualaikum instead..

honestly, i was surprised at the beginning because i have been working in 4 different places before and not even a single company practised that.. but here, it's a culture.. from the big boss down to the org keramaian.. even to the kakak cleaner..

ii. all the guys perform zohor and asar berjemaah at the balai islam.. zohor is ok la because it's during lunch hour.. but i just love seeing them beramai-ramai going out at 4.45pm upon hearing the azan asar.. wearing selipar and all that.. it is just mcm very calming.. i don't know.. :D

iii. they have arabic class during lunch hour! but since it's optional so i always find an excuse to not attend.. huhu.. and end up having my beauty sleep in my room.. ouchhh.. should improve on this.. but then, i hate arabic language since forever.. ok may be not.. since high school.. ever since i got an E for the pmr.. lucky i sat for it when i was in form 4 or else i could have ruined my pmr slip..

iv. they are planning to have all the ladies perform zohor prayer berjemaah as well during Ramadhan.. yay! :)

weekend yang lalu

i've been suffering from a severe backache these last few days and i am no longer able to lie flat on my back anymore.. the pain is just killing me
at the moment i have to surrender sleeping on my side which is very much uncomfortable
i did some research and of course it's completely normal especially for those entering the third semester
not to mention, the frequent cramps i get at night
but i was not complaining, not until yesterday when i decided to get a massage from this one makcik who happened to be a confinement lady as well
seriously, after the massage session which only lasted around 15 minutes
i woke up to a seriously painful back
i couldn't even lean against the kerusi this morning.. demmittttttt
but i guess i just have to bear the pain
remember idya.. giving birth is thousand times painful!

anyway, as mentioned in previous entry, we went for the 6-month check up last saturday and Alhamdulillah, li'l munchkin was in good sport
well, not really but at least dr. raja managed to confirm the gender
i was smiling all the way during the scanning process
not that i am unhappy if lil munchkin turns to be the opposite gender
either one pn i am more than happy as long as lil munchkin is healthy
but it's a bonus la kn because all the baju seems to be cuter in pink
don't u think so? :p
but i still give a little room for uncertainty as well because it happens so many times where the doctor said it's a girl but ended up yang keluar is a boy

went to janda baik on sunday..
PIL happened to have a friend who owns a nice wooden house there so they decided to go and spend a day away from the hustle and bustle of city life
well, it was indeed a serene place with green surrounding
and the house has a large verandah connected to a large pond
we can actually fish by just sitting on the verandah.. sangat nice and got a few gazebos around.. a really, really nice place to finish a novel or two but too bad, didn't bring any.. so i ended up sleeping during the afternoon
the river was just a few metres away at the back of the house so went there for a quick rendam session before going back to KL
and that was when the back pain started to attack me
arrived home at 8ish.. solat2 and off to lalaland straight away at 9pm..

so that was how i spent my weekend!
no rehat whatsoever for me again..
seriously looking forward to a good, quiet sunday this week~!

Updates

i. come monday, i'll be 25 weeks pregnant which means i have merely 15 weeks left before the due date.. and honestly i still didn't quite 'register' the fact that i am becoming a mommy eventhough li'l munchkin has been making quite an appearance lately by kicking me even more often than usual.. simply love the feeling but then at times a bit tiring (not that i am complaining) because she (well, not 100% confirmed yet) likes my bladder better than any other part, so i have to pay an extra visit to the toilet which in my case agak tidak menyenang kn because i don't really like my office toilet..

ii. tomorrow will be my 6-month check up.. sangat excited and i am hoping li'l munchkin will reveal her toooot because last time she was so shy she decided to just make a few seconds show.. and i am also hoping that she'll be less mobile so the doctor can capture her in 3D.. i have already bought the "my 1st year book" and i really tk sabar to start filling it in with her photos and everything.. :D

iii. i did mention in previous entry that i have started shopping for baby stuff even when i was just 4 months pregnant.. well, i guess i did make a good decision doing so.. why? simply because i have now lost almost ALL the desire to shop and lucky me, there are just a few more BIG things that need to be bought (and A LOT of small other things).. walking around in shopping malls kill my legs these days and i can do well only with crocs (seriously) and not with other shoes/selipar.. and shopping online doesn't give me much satisfaction anymore.. (sbb dh overdose kot! huhu..)

iv. i have finished reading ina may's guide to childbirth.. well, what can i say.. i think the book makes me feel 'extra' positive about vaginal birth and seriously i don't feel scared at all (at the moment la..) which is a bit scary la because the delivery process is indeed painful kn? tktau la.. maybe i should stop re-reading it kot because nnt cm psycho lak sbb my mind keep telling that tk saket langsung and what not.. and then come the moment, the opposite thing happen.. huhu..

where did my money go?

lately, people around me, who happen to be of younger age keep talking money
invest here, invest there, buy a house or a condo at least and so and so
like, are u guys seriously 23/24 years old baru?

demmitt... where was i at that age?
happily spending my salary without even a slightest thought about the future
mencalar kn credit cardS (note: the plural) as much as i can
went on a shopping spree like nobody business
and now that i am reaching 30 years old (in 3 years time ok) i have just realized what i have been missing
with a very very few it's embarassing digits in my bank account nothing i can be proud of
ok, may be i am exaggerating a little bit
i was thisssssssssssssss close to sign up the S&P for a gorgeous condominium in shah alam at the age of 25 but being me, i decided to not do it in fear that i would not be having enough money to spend after that.. like whattttttttttttttt kn?
hishhhhhh..

but anyway, it is never too late to start all over again right? huhu
i am now taking baby steps towards financial freedom
its been more than a year now i have been living my life happily without a single credit card under my name (err, i still cheat sometimes by using my hubster's.. :p..)
but then, the excess baggage is still there la of course.. who can settle all 3 credit cards debt which nearly reaching the credit limit within a blink of an eye kn.. sumpah la kene tukar name dulu jadi binti sultanah bolkiah or perhaps binti JHO LOW?
so, at the moment i am still paying off the debt which hopefully will finish sumwhere around next year
and then i tell you people, i will be totally absolutely living a debt-free life!!!!!
that is like, the ultimate point of happiness kot.. duniawi la i mean

here

and of course, i couldn't thank the company enough or the yayasan to be exact for converting my study loan to scholarship and RETURNING back all the money i have been paying in FULL.. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.. :).. rezeki baby tu..

thank you Allah for the rezeki.. thank you little munchkin for this is what they call rezeki anak.. Alhamdulillah.. ALhamdulillah.. Alhamdulillah..

ujian Allah

ever since i entered the second trimester i have been having this 'weird' feeling..
at times i feel so sad, anxious, worry, tk sedap hati.. all mixed up..
makin weird because most of the times i feel so is when i am in the toilet doing 'small' business.. pelik kn? or mungkin sbb time tu sorang2 layan feeling kot..?!

so last week, i was sangat tk larat to go to work and i decided to take an mc but i had no reason whatsoever to give to the doctor
maka, i decided to tell him about those feelings perhaps there is some sorta scientic reason behind it plus something had actually happened when i was back home which added to my constant worriness

and to my surprise.. yes, there is..

the doctor was telling me that i suffer from pre-baby blues.. and he gave me an mc without me asking (yay for that)

but today, after talking to mom, i realized that perhaps that feeling is not because of the pre-baby blues but because of something else which is related to the earlier something i mentioned before

i am so sad.. but i know mom is even more sad.. i can hear it from her voice

and now i know that answers all my doubt.. to my little nephew, please please please be strong.. you know you are loved by all of us.. whatever happen in the future, please know that we all or at least, wan cu and m.ngah will always always always be right behind you..

tgiFriday

here

it's friday y'alls!

and tomorrow gonna have bbq at bagan lalang with the in-laws

.

.

.

have a great weekend, people..!

Shopping with a capital S

mothercare is having a sale until july 25th.. and i've been itching to get this..

it looks so adorable and comfy! and the most important thing is that.. currently it is on 50% discount.. demmsss.. the next mothercare sale will be in christmas which nampak nye i can't go lah since i'll be having my confinement in pahang.. so, should i or should i not get it now? lets toss a coin! haha..

i want this fisher price butterfly pink also..

but i have never seen anything like this in malaysia.. perhaps can ask abang to get it for me at much cheaper price in aussie.. *fingers cross*

and if it is possible, i want this baby bjorn as well..

tapi harus lah berangan sahaje.. because the price for this one alone is even higher than the two items above, combined.. :(


p/s: colour of the items has got nothing to do with lil munchkin gender



* pictures from various website

ariel the peterporn?

i was cleaning up the store room to make way for all the stuff in the second bedroom when i found this cd.. it was a cd given by my gurlfren, shazreen when i moved out of her house last year after getting married (it took me a year to really unpack all the stuff.. huhu).. i only watched it once before because i ended up crying the last time i did so..

but anyway, i thot things would change after almost a year.. so i brought up the courage to watch it again, this morning, in my office.. well, i did not cry (naseb baik, kalau tk mesti org pelik..) but tetap rase gluk2.. and one of the reason mungkin sebab ariel..????????? hehe..

i intend to write a long entry on this one but perhaps later.. :)

of short weekdays + long weekend

1. i was on mc last wednesday.. it was a planned mc actually.. i had been contemplating on getting one since monday due to the evening sickness.. yes, it's back again.. i threw up in my room after lunch hour on tuesday so i had decided that for whatever the reason is i will take an mc the following day.. thank God (?!) the next morning, after consuming sebungkus (or was it two?) super oily fried bihun, i threw up twice at the hospital.. oh yes, finally we decided to go to see the specialist.. after much consideration, we chose columbia asia due to the close distance to our home.. it is within a walking distance ok.. so why bother going through the traffic jam to get to sjmc or sunway medical or pantai right.. mane2 pun same, insyaAllah.. :).. anyway, baby finally decided to reveal the toooot.. hehe.. but it was just for a very super short period of time.. i couldn't see it to be honest.. and even the dr. could just catch a glimpse and so she herself didn't want to confirm yet.. therefore, still have to wait for the next check up which is scheduled to be in august.. but, at least we got a hint and i am happy.. :)

2. i was on leave on friday for no apparent reason.. just felt like taking a break.. but i applied for it on monday.. if i had known i'd be on mc on wednesday (eh bukan mmg dh plan ke?) i might cancel it but boss already approved, so why waste right? heh.. i went to catch eclipse alone during jumaat prayer.. deliberately chose the time because that was when husband could would not follow.. it was great but i prefer twilight more.. but whatever it is, i still want to be a cullen.. i feel u bella.. weeeeeeee! went to gm plaza with hubby, abang & lin & si comel ai'syah later in the evening and got myself 2 dresses at half the market price! love love love it.. gonna get another 2 or 3 for raya.. melampau.. hehe.. and then went to midvalley since abang wanted to go to the maybank treat fair.. fell in love with mazda 8 (i think!) only to find out that the price is close to 200K.. no wonder la comfortable gile.. cehhhh.. tambah sket lagi bleh dpt 2 kot toyota wish.. hehe..

3. went to teman husband futsal-ing with his colleagues in the morning.. and stayed at home until ptg.. thot of going out tp tertdo pulak therefore we just went to tesco after maghrib and bought bath tub for baby.. hehe.. oh, there was one thing happened on that day that will surely be remembered (note: 20 weeks 5 days).. i was lying on the sofa watching tv and baby kept kicking inside so i told husband and he put his ear on my tummy to listen and suddenly baby kicked super hard sampai kitorg 2-2 terkejut.. hehe.. so sweeeeet, maybe its her/his way of saying.. "hi daddy! i'm doing just great in here..".. :)..

4. boring sunday.. went to klang and threw up tepi highway on the way back.. hubby went to work later in the evening.. slept early to catch wc final but only woke up at 3.30am..

one year

The highest happiness on earth is marriage.

~William Lyon Phelps ~

today, 5th july 2010, marks our first wedding anniversary

Alhamdulillah for the beautiful journey so far

i have never been happier in my life

i loooooooooooooove u, dear husband

looking forward to many many many many (much) more anniversaries with u

:)

weddy wednesday

1. i was so pissed off with p1 customer service last night i ended up sleeping late by reading (and finishing) a novel. why so? because i attended a course last week and the speaker said never go to sleep feeling angry.. of all the things he taught, that was one thing i actually listened to (i should focus and listen more about work skills and ethics).

2. i'll be going for a 3D scan tomorrow at sunway. we both really tidak sabar because this is when we will find out the gender. yay. saya lagi tidak sabar dan sangat nervous but anyway, lets not discuss further about this dan berdoa segala nye selamat hari esok.. huhu

3. i think i felt the baby kicking last night and even now.. but i am totally not sure about this because maybe itu sekadar angin.. tp tkde la pulak rase nk kent or burp.. but if it is really him/her, adelah sangat active kot? tp mungkin jugak angin, sbb lately ni rase sangat loya as if the morning sickness is back again.. huhu

 4. july 5th marks our first wedding anniversary.. and in conjuction with that we are going away to somewhere not that far from kl for the weekend.. it was a last minute plan and it was only yesterday i managed to go online and booked the hotel.. initially, i sooo wanted to stay at avillion, pd but too bad, the rooms are all fully booked for the weekend.. hence, we have to settle for the second best thing sahaje.. sedih tp tkpe boleh celebrate sambil mkn ikan pari bakar.. yummy.. yummy.. candlelight dinner? ape kah itu? yes, we are not that romantic.. hehe

natural birth

"Women at The Farm know that labor can be painful, but many of them know as well that labor and birth can be ecstatic -- even orgasmic. Above all, whether or not they experienced labor as painful, to a woman, they found labor and birth a tremendously empowering passage"

"There is extraordinary psychological benefit in belonging to a group of women who have positive stories to tell about their birth experiences.. So many horror stories circulate about birth that it can be difficult for women to believe that labor and birth can be a beneficial experience.. If you have been pregnant for a while, it's probable that you've already heard some scary birth stories from friends or relatives"

"Believe me: if you are told that some experience is going to hurt, it will hurt. Most pain is in the mind, and when a woman absorbs the idea that the act of giving birth is excruciatingly painful -- when she gets this information from her mother, her sisters, her married friends, and her physician -- that woman has been mentally prepared to feel great agony"

- ina may's guide to childbirth -

random

Alhamdulillah.. i managed to score 3.86/4.00 for my master degree.. and surprisingly got an A for my final project.. so much of crying, whining and everything eh? hehe.. thank you to those who have helped me through out the journey.. no words could ever describe how much i thank those wonderful people.. but anyway, to be honest i wasn't that satisfied with the result because i think i can do a bit better than that.. i mean, if i were to study a bit harder and rajin-er, sure can reach my target.. but then, it's ok.. ini pun dh cukup baik as compared to my undergraduate result (buat malu kaum je.. huhu)

the convocation will be in september.. 25th - 28th.. but no exact date for the masters students yet.. and i'll be 7 months pregnant by then.. ahh.. wonder what dress should i be wearing.. jubah mcm tk berminat je.. huhu..

anyway, i am now very much enjoying my free weekends.. and the fact that the result is already out makes all the weekends even free-er(!??)..  hehe.. and with the almost non-existent workload.. boy, my life just can't get any better than this.. :).. Alhamdulillah.. but still, i haven't got the chance to go for a weekend getaway with husband.. which reminds me of our 1st wedding anniversary on july 5th.. hmm time really2 flies mcm naik jet.. it felt just like yesterday.. and we're now soon becoming mummy and daddy dh..

oh speaking of which.. our little munchkin is doing just fine.. doctor wasn't able to measure his/her exact size at 4 months because he/she kept moving here and there during the ultrasound.. seriously sungguh comell.. Subhanallah.. FIL said.. "mesti baby boy sebab lasak semacam".. and the next day when i was doing another check up at another clinic.. the doctor was listening to lil munchkin's heartbeat through the stetoscope (spelling?!) and he said.. "kuat nye heart beat.. mesti baby boy".. hehehe.. so is it gonna be baby L.E.I or baby A.A? :p.. can't wait for another one month to see.. but be it baby L.E.I or baby A.A, as long as u r healthy, mummy & daddy are happy enuff.. :)

online shopping

ok.. i am a self-confessed online-shopaholic!

and i just developed the habit like.. a week ago?
well, blame the hormone.. :p
and blame those online baby stores as well.. hehe
to date, i have spent almost rm150 on bottle only i.e. feeding bottles and milk bottle storage and i'm not gonna stop
i still have a few more bottles to buy and lotsa other things
i tell u, some online stores' prices are much cheaper than the store we have in malls
so why bother hopping from one shop to another in search for a cheaper price when u can just do it online, right?
and the best thing is i can do it without my dear husband's knowledge
haha.. of course la later he will find out jugak tp at least after the purchase has been made.. and tk gune nk cry over spilt milk kn.. :p
but since we are not even half way through the month, therefore i should slow down my shopping activities
kesenangan meng-click and me-maybank2u here and there seriously very dangerous to my bank account
maka, harus tahan nafsu.. perhaps after i get another 2 botol of TT then i should give it a stop (for this month).. :)

tolong saye

currently, there are two things that constantly conquer every single corner of my mind 1) giving birth, and 2) ou.twar.d bo.un.d mal.ay.sia (O.BeeM)

i talked about giving birth in my previous entry and now i wanna talk about the fear of going for the o.bee.m.. huhu

apparently, attending one is a must in t.en.bi which determines whether u'll be a confirmed staff or not.. it's written in the agreement so there is no way u can run away from it.. since i am pregnant therefore i couldnt join my pep35 last time.. i was a little bit frustrated actually because the programme duration is 15 days in which u totally have no contact with the outside world, no handphone whatsoever.. so if u happen to go with ur own batch at least u know u r surrounded with familiar faces which seemingly doesn't apply to me now.. and the activities are very2 physically and mentally challenging to the extreme therefore those who just give birth are also not allowed to go (there was one case where this one lady who just had a c-sect accidentally "terbukak jahitan" due to the extreme activities.. uhuhhhhh..) hence, what i am trying to say here is, it might take me another one year before i can go for the o.bee.m

this is how the khemah looks like.. gilo apo.. kiri kanan terbukak.. adoiiii

pic taken from here

ok, and talking about the extreme activities whatever.. i think i am ok with the physically challenging one.. i mean, i can at least build up my stamina or worst come to worst i can just pengsan or sumthing.. but the most not-so-interesting part is the 3 days 2 nights solo camping in the middle of the hutan!! oooo myyyy godddd okkay.. as in seriously omigawd!! what am i gonna do alone in the middle of a jungle!! and listening to the stories is not helping at all.. totally not.. what with the "pakcik tua kejut tgh mlm and say anak boleh tidor tempat lain? sini kubur".. oh shyteeee.. and what with perempuan baju putih jalan2 sekeliling khemah and endless storiessssssssssssssssss... seriously i almost pee in my seluar dalam right now.. huaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.. how do u prepare urself for things like this aa? i know it's not too late to hafal surah yasin given one year time but it won't be enuff.. being afraid is not the way to survive but tell me how on earth do u deal with this.. huaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa lagi.. :((((( 

whoaaaa

MYR1,688.00
MYR1,886.00
SAVE MYR198.00

why o why it has to be thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat expensive?

anyone can get it cheaper? 

please please let me know..

saya pengecut

tiada keje maka mencari pekerjaan
adalah gatal
sedikit menyesal tapi macam mmg patut tahu pun
it's just a matter of time anyway

aihhh..

giving birth is seriously a scarrrrryyyy marrryyyyyyy thing!
like seriously, no kidding
i am so determined to have a normal delivery
but reading those stories makes me think twice, triple, juta2 kali...

alamakkkkk!

i think i might be ok with the pushing part
but i can't imagine the jahit part
sulam renda? tknk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cmne nih?
iskkkk...

tapi kalau org lain boleh kenape saye tk boleh?
mak lahirkan saye kt umah lagi
for sure tkde bius, laughing gas ke ape jadah kn?

tapi, masih takuttttttttttttttttttttt!
ooemmmji..
*nanges*

the summary

1. family trip to Jakarta-Bandung was awesome. din buy much since i din bring any rupiah. i was fully dependent on dear husband but anyway, he managed to get me 4 maternity dresses.. :).. 4 visits to bandung, i ended up being the penunjuk jalan to the driver. hehe. he was a new driver from jakarta. "vocabulary outlet saya masih lemah" hence terpakse la tunjuk where the outlets are..

 

 @ rumah mode

2. came back from jakarta on sunday, and went for a site visit to Manjung Power Plant on wednesday. well, back to the beginning i must say. 

 

 @ switchyard, pencawang grid 500kV

3. came back from manjung on thursday and went back to temerloh on friday night after work. it was a surprise for mak's birthday on may 15. husband got to work on sunday so we went back to puchong on saturday evening

4. the result??? i was down with fever yesterday and a swollen throat. huhu

5. i managed to go to midvalley yesterday after work despite the painful throat. and wahlaaaaa... i loveeeeee what i found.. :).. i pretty much have everything i need for my junior now (not that i bought any, yet..).. and i can't wait for the 5th months to start buying them.. hehe..

Alhamdulillah

good things come to those who wait?
yes.. and i couldn't thank Allah enough for that
thank you Allah, thank you very much for all the rezeki.. 

1. my project presentation did not go that well the other day. i was already at skudai when i realized that my project is just a piece of crap but it was too late. i got to do what i got to do i.e. to convince the assessors that my project is actually up to par with the master level. well, let's just say that i was not that confident? i did answer all the questions asked but i swear i was not convinced at all. the total marks for the presentation was 30. 18 was my target. 


my lecturer called yesterday evening. "idya, you got 24/30 for your presentation".. :))))))

2. the project report must be submitted before april 9. i got a test on april 4. it was the worst test ever because nothing seemed to stay in my memory despite huge effort being put to study and memorize. i swear i read at least 4 times but seriously i couldn't remember a thing. ok, tipu, i couldn't remember 90% of what i had read. panic attack. because i got 24/50 for the first test. ahhh, i hate the subject because it has got nothing to do with my major. i hate anything electronics for that matter. so, i went for the test with a 3/4 empty mind and shame on me... i cheated.. yes, i flipped through my notes with a huge guilt. :( but it only contributed 2 marks. 


the result was out yesterday. i got 32/40. ok, minus the 2 marks for cheating so the truth is i got 30/40 for not studying. i considered that as an achievement. but no, i won't repeat that again. both the cheating part and the not-prepared part. must study real hard for the final paper. must get A.

3. i was am under a lot of pressure at the office. my facebook status can tell that. last week, i was involved in a major fight with the syaitan-dari-neraka m!ddl3 345+3rn boss.. he screamed at me and i screamed back at him in front of 20 other staffs? and if that doesn't sound bad, i slammed his door as hard as i can. yes, but i tell you that did not compensate for all the stress i have to endure working under him for the past 3 months. seriously, it was like working in hell and with that resignation letter i submitted last saturday, that makes me the 4th person to tender because of him. he is just impossible to work with and i can write one hell of a book to tell how bad a boss he is. so, i tendered with a 3-months notice without any back up plan. am i stupid? yes, but i will be the stupid-est person ever exists if i stay.

i received an email a few hours ago.. "Sukacita dimaklumkan bahawa tuan/puan dengan ini akan ditawarkan untuk berkhidmat dengan TNB sebagai Eksekutif Pelatih (PEP 35) berkuatkuasa...."

so all in all, i just would like to say that, yes.. good things come to those who wait.. Alhamdulillah.. Alhamdulillah.. Alhamdulillah.. :))))).. thank you Allah