tolong saye

currently, there are two things that constantly conquer every single corner of my mind 1) giving birth, and 2) ou.twar.d bo.un.d mal.ay.sia (O.BeeM)

i talked about giving birth in my previous entry and now i wanna talk about the fear of going for the o.bee.m.. huhu

apparently, attending one is a must in t.en.bi which determines whether u'll be a confirmed staff or not.. it's written in the agreement so there is no way u can run away from it.. since i am pregnant therefore i couldnt join my pep35 last time.. i was a little bit frustrated actually because the programme duration is 15 days in which u totally have no contact with the outside world, no handphone whatsoever.. so if u happen to go with ur own batch at least u know u r surrounded with familiar faces which seemingly doesn't apply to me now.. and the activities are very2 physically and mentally challenging to the extreme therefore those who just give birth are also not allowed to go (there was one case where this one lady who just had a c-sect accidentally "terbukak jahitan" due to the extreme activities.. uhuhhhhh..) hence, what i am trying to say here is, it might take me another one year before i can go for the o.bee.m

this is how the khemah looks like.. gilo apo.. kiri kanan terbukak.. adoiiii

pic taken from here

ok, and talking about the extreme activities whatever.. i think i am ok with the physically challenging one.. i mean, i can at least build up my stamina or worst come to worst i can just pengsan or sumthing.. but the most not-so-interesting part is the 3 days 2 nights solo camping in the middle of the hutan!! oooo myyyy godddd okkay.. as in seriously omigawd!! what am i gonna do alone in the middle of a jungle!! and listening to the stories is not helping at all.. totally not.. what with the "pakcik tua kejut tgh mlm and say anak boleh tidor tempat lain? sini kubur".. oh shyteeee.. and what with perempuan baju putih jalan2 sekeliling khemah and endless storiessssssssssssssssss... seriously i almost pee in my seluar dalam right now.. huaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.. how do u prepare urself for things like this aa? i know it's not too late to hafal surah yasin given one year time but it won't be enuff.. being afraid is not the way to survive but tell me how on earth do u deal with this.. huaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa lagi.. :(((((